I have fallen into this trap before and I am sure you have as well. Because you are passionate about a subject or maybe because the other “side” is so “wrong” that you just explode and a misunderstanding becomes a verbal jiujitsu match. When this happens I want you to stop and think, if I say the same thing over and over again only louder do I become more right? Will that person suddenly say “oh you’re yelling, so you must be right”? Chances are they will not, instead they will only amplify their “wrong” point.
The next time you find yourself wanting to amplify the volume and breakout your superior yelling style of communication – here are a few things you can do instead
- Lean in and lower your volume
- Breathe and ask for a moment to recollect yourself. Time and space can be your friend in moments of high tension. (This might not always be possible)
- Shut the opening under your nose and open the two on the side of your head. Admittedly, this one causes most of the trouble – including for yours truly.
- Restate for understanding
- Assume good intent – but maybe bad delivery.